I live in Portland just off of MLK blvd. Whatever stereotypes you’ve heard about living on MLK in any city are probably true. There’s gun fire, sirens, and the majority of the neighborhood is made up of black people. Today I went to the safeway less than a block from my house to get a sammich for lunch. This turned into one of the better experiences I’ve ever had at this grocery story and that includes the time I saw a fight break out that apparently ended in some one getting stabbed to death… wait that’s not a good time at all.
Anyway, today is Sunday and I went just after the local church got out. The majority of the people in Safeway were black and in their Sunday best. I mean they were STYLIN. Guys in full suits, women in gorgeous dresses, it was quite a scene. There I was in bummy cargo shorts and a t-shirt that has an innuendo to pussy licking on it, and I feel way outclassed by everyone around me.
I was in line at the deli behind this curvaceous mom and her kid. The woman had to be around my age, looking fantastic in this dress and heels, absolutely stunning. She orders her sandwich and I order mine and then I see what is one of the best sights I’ve ever seen in my life… this obesely fat black man, dressed to the NINES on a scooter rolling down the serve yourself soda station with a GIGANTIC mug filling it up with every kind of soda. He rolls up and just yells out in our direction “HEY GIRL!! I SAID HEY GIRL!” The woman in front of me turns and the scooter bound man starts licking his lips thinking he’s looking sexy by doing so. “Hey! I’M WITH MY KID!” She yells back at his cat calling.
The man’s smiling face turns to a grumpy frown which some how lets these hidden jowls form under his cheeks and around his neck. He simply yells back, from less than 10 feet away “Well you look pretty!” and he scoots away.
HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO REACT TO THAT?! It was hilarious. The woman indeed looked pretty, but the balls on this guy to be that fat, roll up on a scooter and hit on a woman inher Sunday best in front of her son… WOW. The guy reminded me of Prop Joe from The Wire.
Seriously, one of the best experiences ever. I’m still chuckling over it.