Food Temptations and Being a Fat Guy…
Last night I went out with friends for my going away party and also partly my friend Micah’s birthday. I was treated to dinner, smoked hookah with friends while watching a movie and over all it was a pretty good send off.
During that night I sold one hookah I wasn’t planning on bring to Portland to my friend Micah and now I have a bit of extra cash and being the kind of fatty that I am, I’m tempted to just go spend it on shitty food I shouldn’t eat. A part of me is screaming out saying it wants pizza and another part of me is saying “you’re tired of being a fat sack of shit, don’t get the pizza, grill some chicken and veggies and enjoy”.
The temptation is staring me right in the face and I’m so weak that I’m really having to battle inside to not just order a giant pizza loaded up with shit that’s supremely bad for me. What’s worse is that last night I had pizza. I managed to only eat a slice and a half, and today I feel pretty good about myself as a result. I mean there was a ridiculous egg roll thing in there too and a few weird taquito things, but over all I did well on the not eating shit. It was even a pizza with more veggies than meats. I’m kinda proud of that too.
But now I’m seriously struggling. Part of it is the laziness aspect. I can sit here and I can just go online and order a pizza, and the most work I have to do is going to the door to pick it up. That’s not tough at all. Or there’s the whole standing in the kitchen with my hurting knee for 10 minutes while things cook, and then stir frying veggies and all that… it’s just not fun. So what do I do?
I’m not looking for support and honestly after writing this I know the smart thing to do and I’ll be doing that because I’m publicly shaming myself into it, but I’m still dealing with the hardships of not eating like shit, portion control and smart diet. I hope my move to Portland helps inspire me to eat better.
